Kissing is one of the most basic of all sexual acts–something that’s so basic, in fact, that we seem to forget the sensuality and sexuality of a good kiss. Indeed, a kiss can set the tone for everything that comes after, and there’s nothing quite like being a good kisser to make an impression early in a relationship.

In the world of mathematics, something is said to be “fractal” if, no matter how closely you look at it, it still looks like little repetitions of itself, on any scale or at any level of magnification. The best known fractal pattern is probably the Mandelbrot set; no matter how close you zoom in on it, you see little tiny copies of itself repeating.

When you think about it, sex is fractal, too. Every individual part of sex, looked at by itself, can contain all the elements of sex…and a kiss is no exception.

The single most important part of a kiss isn’t how far you hold your mouth open or what you do with your tongue; it’s in your enthusiasm, and in the way the kiss unfolds.A sexy kiss gives an impression of your sexual desire, your sexual longing, the act of foreplay, the consummation of sex, and the afterplay, all in one.

And it involves a lot more than just your lips.

Kisses do not have to be only on the lips, of course; a sensual kiss can end up just about anywhere. But the various stages of the kiss can unfold in a similar way no matter what kind of kiss we’re talking about.

The approach to the kiss is rather like the first flirtation on the road to sex. It can be quick and sprightly, it can be gradual and sensual, it can be quiet and reserved; it’s the moving close, the building of anticipation.

The initial touch of the lips is like the first caresses of foreplay. Pay attention to how your partner responds, and don’t rush into it; let it heat up you and your partner, and communicate desire.

Foreplay begins getting hotter when the clothing starts to slip aside; and the kiss gets hotter with the first touch of the tongue. There are many ways to do this, but in most situations diving straight into sexual intercourse without a by-your-leave isn’t going to win you any awards with your partner, and shoving your tongue in isn’t usually the best way to approach a good French kiss. There is a time and a place for that, of course; but if you aren’t going for the zipless fuck, the zipless kiss probably isn’t appropriate. This part of the kiss, like foreplay, is about anticipation; let your tongue flicker lightly over your partner’s lips, asking and inviting at the same time.

And don’t forget the rest of your body! If your goal is to communicate desire (and I think that kisses which do this are the most fun!), communicate with your whole body. Let your body press against your partner’s, lightly at first, and more strongly as the kiss deepens. Don’t forget your hands, either! Hands are wonderfully expressive, when used properly; they can slide up your partner’s back, caress your partner’s hair, draw your partner into the kiss.

The parallel between deep kissing and sexual intercourse is, of course, obvious. Here, too, the best lovers and the best kissers share many things in common, not the least of which is the ability to pay attention to their partner’s responses. Observe how your partner responds, and adjust accordingly. Don’t be afraid to respond to what your partner is doing. Different people like different things–explore with your tongue deeply or gently, quickly or slowly, and pay attention to what your partner seems to like.

A kiss need not end all at once; in fact, breaking it off all at once is a bit like rolling over and going to sleep immediately after you get off. You can part lips gradually, or you can follow up a deep kiss with a small series of short, rapid kisses, or you can even linger for a moment with your lips almost-but-not-quite touching; you can leave small followup kisses on your partner’s bottom lip, if you like. You aren’t trying to set a speed record; don’t treat a kiss like a land war in Asia, where the goal is to get your objective accomplished and get out with as little collateral damage as possible.

Treat the entire kiss, beginning to end, the way you would sex itself. Make the kiss an offer, a promise, and an audition all rolled into one, and your kisses will not soon be forgotten.

When I talk to people about relationships and sex, I often hear the issue of porn being raised–usually from folks who feel concerned about a partner’s use of porn.

There are a lot of misconceptions about porn, and I think a lot of unnecessary angst and suffering get wrapped up in the idea of porn. Especially since it doesn’t need to feel threatening or cause strees in a relationship.

“Help! My boyfriend looks at porn. What should I do?” is a question I hear often, although the reverse, “my girlfriend looks at porn, what should I do?” rarely seems to come up…in spite of the fact that both men and women use porn in roughly equal numbers.

They get the porn in different ways and often have different tastes in porn; for example, men are more likely than women to buy subscriptions to porn sites or to buy porn DVDs, whereas women are far more likely than men to read written porn or to use sites such as Literotica. But the myth that porn is something that’s for men is just that; a myth. (I personally know many women whose tastes for porn far outstrip most of the men I know!)

Many of the most common problems that people have with a partner who watches or reads porn don’t really need to be problems.

The biggest problem that doesn’t really need to be a problem is “I’m afraid my partner likes the people in porn more than me. What if my partner prefers the people in porn?”

That question is easily resolved; your partner is with you. People don’t generally partner with other folks that they don’t want to be with; worrying about it is simply insecurity applied to porn, which is dealt with in much the same way that insecurity applied to anything else is dealt with.

Sometimes, when a partner likes a specific type of porn, it can become tempting to pick something about it that’s different from what you are, and focus on that; “My partner likes porn of blondes, and I’m a brunette,” or “My partner really likes porn with big-breasted people, and I have small breasts,” or whatever. Since everyone in the world is different, it’s possible, if you look hard enough, to find something about your partner’s taste in porn that doesn’t match you, and focus on that as “proof” that your partner doesn’t really want to be with you.

But at the end of the day, your partner is with you; that’s what matters.

Another common issue I’ve seen is when someone is afraid that their partner will want to bring some element of porn into the bedroom. “My partner likes group sex orgy porn with lots of gang bangs; does that mean she wants to have a gang bang, and I’m not good enough?” is one question I’ve heard.

Think about your own sexual fantasies, though. Would you necessarily want to explore all of them? Porn is fun in part because it is different from real life! A person who watches James Bond movies isn’t going to quit his job as a stockbroker and work for MI5, and a person who likes gang bang porn isn’t going to quit her relationship so that she can be in the middle of an orgy. James Bond movies and gang bang porn are fun to watch BECAUSE they’re not real!

And just because your partner likes tentacle hentai doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you to become an animated Japanese schoolgirl.

Something that can happen in a relationship, and I’ve seen real cases of, is that a person can seem to prefer porn to real sex, and even turn down sex to watch porn instead. In the cases I’ve personally seen where this has happened, though, the porn hasn’t been the problem; it’s been a symptom of the problem. Something was wrong in the relationship that made sex not very much fun, and the porn became more fun than the sex. The solution was not to get rid of the porn, but rather to fix the problem in the relationship.

That may be a subject for its own post, though.

As with anything else, the single best approach to dealing with questions or concerns about porn in a relationship is to talk openly with your partner about it. If you feel threatened or jealous because of the porn, say so. Even if you think the feelings are silly! “Look, I know that this is just my own insecurity acting up, but it still feels real to me, so can you reassure me that you’re not watching porn because you don’t think I’m attractive?” is a perfectly reasonable way to approach the conversation, if that’s the way you feel.

Similarly, if you’re concerned about the way that porn might change your partner’s expectations or sexual desires, talk about that too! Do so in a way that isn’t accusatory or blaming; after all, your partner isn’t the enemy.

And finally, another tool that can defuse problems around porn is to make it an activity that you can share together. There are places that specialize in “couples porn,” though personally I think it’s better (and more fun!) to talk to your partner about what you might like to see and what your partner might like to see and go from there; not all couples have the same tastes, after all.

Don’t worry if it seems like it might be awkward; everything new is awkward, after all. Don’t worry if you think you can’t make it through with a straight face; if you can’t laugh at cheesy dialog, what can you laugh at? And even if it is cheesy and silly, you might just find that it gets your motor running anyway, and turns into fun sexy time with your partner.

And who can complain about that?

No, not that kind of art! I don’t mean statues of the Venus de Milo in a museum somewhere, but a more interactive kind of art.

There is always a little bit of art in sex, at least when it’s good sex. Performance art, certainly; but also an art that makes beauty out of a shared connection. And sometimes, it’s kind of fun to make sex into art in a more literal sense.

One of the things I’ve come to love is having my lover draw on me. It’s easily done with Magic Markers, and there’s something surprisingly sensual and intimate about it. The feeling of my lover’s hands on my back, the slightly rough texture of the markers…it’s a lot of fun.

It doesn’t necessarily require any great artistic skill; the joy is as much, or more, in the doing of it than in the result. Though the result can, of course, be lovely as well.

For even greater intimacy, try finger paints! They are safe and non-toxic, and they’re a marvelous way to explore your partner’s body and really get the opportunity to feel your lover’s hands on you.

The holiday gift-giving season is upon us, and there’s no reason for people on Santa’s naughty list to feel left out! This year, I present a list of ten fun sexy things that make perfect presents for people on your list who might want to spice up their sex lives. Some of these are my own personal favorite toys, lots of fun for everyone!

Number one on the list is the Wartenberg wheel. This is one of my all-time favorite toys. It’s cheap, it doesn’t take batteries, and it’s easy to use.

It is a small metal pinwheel that you can lightly run along any part of your lover’s body…breasts, nipples, thighs, arms, legs, hands, ears, you name it. It creates delightfully shivery sensations that are as mild or intense as you want. Best of all, this delightful sensation toy lasts practically forever!

A lot of people like to dabble in a little bit of bondage in the bedroom, but don’t have beds with headboards that make it easy. This unique under-the-bed kit includes four soft, comfortable cuffs and a special set of straps that go underneath your mattress.

It’s easy to set up (takes about a minute), easy to remove, comfortable, and easy to use. It’s also safe, non-threatening enough for beginners to feel comfortable with, and secure enough for more experienced folks to enjoy. And the price is amazing; the entire kit costs less than just a set of cuffs from most other manufacturers!

The rock chick vibrator is a unique vibrator designed for clitoral and G-spot stimulation. The narrow end is for penetration, and the wider end rests on the clitoris when it’s inserted. It’s good for women who enjoy clitoral and G-spot action, and its shape is less intimidating if your partner is afraid of sex toys. It works very well, and you can even use it hands-free!

Tantus, the company that makes this toy, is best known for their high-end premium silicone sex toys. Recently they branched out into aluminum sex toys. The Alumina line of toys are all double-ended and you can mix and match the ends from different toys, they’re all compatible with any type of lube, and they’re all quite lovely to look at too!

This clever little contraption is a richly polished wood tissue box with a secret compartment big enough to hide your sex toys, condoms, or both. You can leave it sitting right on the nightstand and nobody will know! The perfect solution for anyone who’s worried about guests, relatives, in-laws, kids, or anyone else snooping around and finding something they shouldn’t.

Liberator makes a wide range of different foam pillows for exploring sex positions. The Liberator Ramp is a great way to enhance sex in all kinds of positions, allowing deeper penetration and more comfort. Extend the range of possibilities in the bedroom (or the living room, or the kitchen, or wherever you like)!

LELO is a Swedish sex toy company that makes a whole range of beautiful, functional, high-end vibrators. The LELO Nea vibrator is a smooth, glossy vibrator with pushbutton controls, a rechargeable battery, and a quiet motor. It’s a durable, high-quality, long-lasting, gorgeous toy that’s several cuts above an ordinary sex toy.

Forget tying your partner to the bed; the door jam cuffs drape over any door so that when you close it, the cuffs stay put without damaging the door.

I actually thought up a similar idea independently, and had planned to write a tutorial about how to make something like this before I saw the kit for sale. I bought it, and quickly realized it’s so inexpensive it wasn’t worth making my own; I’d spend a lot more in time and parts to make one than this thing costs. Best of all, it’s really quick, it’s small, it fits in a suitcase without taking up any space at all, and it turns any door, even a hotel door, into a bondage playspace. For inexpensive, quick, and easy fun on the go, it’s hard to beat!

Sex in the shower is a lot of fun, no doubt about it. This thing, which is a shower sponge with a waterproof vibrator hidden inside, makes it even more fun. Getting clean never felt so good!

The last time I was visiting friends of mine in LA, they gave me this as a gift. It’s a Monkey Rocker Tango, a sex machine designed especially for couples.

The Monkey Rocker Tango allows you to use any sort of flared-end dildo you want, on one or both ends of the machine. You can sit behind your partner while she rides the machine, or put a dildo on both ends for fun for both of you! It works simply by siting on the bench and rocking back and forth; the glider mechanism, which is a lot like a gliding Ottoman, converts the back-and-forth motion into up-and-down motion without motors.

It’s hard to overstate how much fun this thing is. It makes a great conversation piece when you have guests over (my Monkey Rocker brings all the girls to the yard!) and it’s extremely well-built and durable. This device will definitely make you the hit of the party, assuming it’s the right kind of party…

Ah, yes. Threesome dynamics; always interesting, always that little fear that it will turn into a tangle of elbows and knees, with nobody quite sure of what to do.

In a situation where the sexual orientations allow for each of the three people involved to receive attention from the other two, there are a lot of interesting possibilities. Trading off being in the middle works very well; some of the threesomes I’ve been in with two bisexual women tend to revolve around one person paying attention to the other two, with the person in the middle tending to rotate as the evening progresses.

Sensation play is always a sure bet. Find various things to touch, poke, caress, or prod your partners with. A good way to make a game out of that is to blindfold the person in the middle and make him or her guess what you’re using. If you like to add a little flair to the game, you can make up punishment as you see fit for wrong guesses, rewards for right guesses, or both. You can even use that as a cue to switch off; the person in the middle keeps getting poked and prodded, and punished for wrong guesses, until a certain number of right guesses.

Don’t know what to use? Check the kitchen! Whisks, forks, spatulas, ice cubes, butter knives, bamboo skewers, egg whisks, the possibilities are endless.

Another fun thing to do during a threesome is have one person tell the other two people what to do to each other. If your interests lean toward domination or submission, or toward voyeurism, then this is an absolute blast.

And, of course, as I’ve talked about before, blindfolds make EVERYTHING more fun.

Combine this with one person telling the other two what to do and it gets extra hot. Imagine you’ve been told how to touch one of the other participants, and you’re forced to carry out those instructions strictly by touch alone…well, you get the idea, I’m sure.

A friend of mine who I’ve had the distinct pleasure to be involved in group sex with in the past has something of a fetish for being used as sex furniture; she enjoys, for example, crouching down and having another person be draped or bent over her during sex. That actually turned out to be quite a bit hotter than I expected it to be, so if that sounds like something that might interest you, give it a try!

If your particular flavor of kink goes toward spanking, one of the things I’ve found interesting in the past is to make a rule that I tell my partners what to do, and if either one does something incorrectly, both get spanked. From there it’s simply a matter of finding challenges that one or both of my partners is likely eventually to make a mistake on, like for example spanking whoever’s in the middle while the other counts the spanks in powers of two (1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, etc), and at the first mistake in counting, they both are disciplined. (What can I say? I’m evil.)

For even more evil fun, there is always contradictory instructions. If you have one person telling the other two what to do, the person calling the shots can forbid one person to have an orgasm, but order the other person to make him or her come…with, naturally, punishment for the person who disobeys.

One of the things I’ve learned recently is a newfound respect for feet. A person I know swears that orgasms are more intense if you are getting a foot massage at the time. I don’t know if that’s true yet–more experimentation is required, I think–but who knows? Give it a try!

Fisting is ALWAYS a good time. I highly recommend it during any group sex encounter. I have one particularly vivid memory of holding one of my lovers down while her other partner fisted her…great fun!

Deep-throating is sometimes seen as the holy grail of oral blowjob skills–something that is almost mythical in its epic proportions. Relatively few people have this skill, even though it’s a lot of fun for both the giver and the receiver, and a lot of folks I’ve talked to are afraid they can never learn how to do it.

It is quite likely true that not everyone in the world can learn this particular skill. With six and a half billion people or so sharing the planet, there are bound to be some who, for whatever reason, can’t learn any given skill; that’s the way it goes.

But as far as skills go, deep-throating is pretty easy, and I suspect that most people who put their minds to it can learn it reasonably quickly.

Before I get started on this tip, though: Should anyone feel obligated to do it? No. It’s not a skill that’s required in order to be good in bed, and not doing it is really not that big a deal. People sometimes get wrapped around the axle telling themselves that they “should” do things in bed or that if they don’t do those things they’re not good at sex, and I think that’s kind of silly. There’s no baseline standard for Sexual Activities Or Else You Suck, no Bureau of Standards and Measures that enforces a code of minimum skills or else they take away your sex certification.

As with all sexual skills, learning how to deep-throat is something you should do because you want to do it, not because you feel pressured or obligated to do it, or because you feel that you won’t be good in bed if you don’t.

That said, on to learning the skill.

The easiest way I know of to learn deep-throating technique is to practice using a slim, flexible dildo, or something similar. (One lovely woman of my acquaintance practices her technique on a banana. I do NOT recommend you do this, or use anything else that’s easy to squash or tear, because this can create a risk of choking.) It’s not necessary to do it until you gag, and in fact if you practice over a period of many days you’ll start to learn that it’s less about suppressing your gag reflex (which I’m not 100% convinced is even possible) than it is about learning that thre are specific things that trigger a gag reflex and how to avoid those things.

For example, in most people, the gag reflex is triggered by pressure on a spot on the back of the tongue. If oyu allow the dildo or whatever you’re practicing with to travel on the roof of your mouth, and keep your tongue pulled down, you’ll probably find you can touch the back of your throat without gagging. It may take some practice to figure out how to do it, but you’ll suddenly realize there’s a way to direct the dildo that doesn’t cause you to gag.

If you do find yourself starting to gag as you’re practicing, stop and withdraw the dildo. Relax for a minute, and try again. You’re not trying to hold back the gag reflex; you’re looking for a path to take that doesn’t make you want to gag in the first place.

Yes, this is possible. After all, you swallow things every day without gagging; if gagging was automatic anything touched your throat, you’d be unable to eat! So clearly your body is accustomed to things touching your throat without gagging.

From that point, you’ll find that there seems to be a point past which the dildo won’t go any deeper, as if something’s blocking it. That’s your throat muscles. Once you’ve reached the point where you know how to put the dildo in your mouth without gagging, the next step is training your throat muscles to relax. Again, that’s simply practice. Use gentle pressure, and eventually, after some practice, you’ll find that the dildo suddenly will slip in past what seems to be a blockage; at that point, you can basically take it as far down as you want it. It might take a couple of weeks of practice, like any other physical skill; if you want to learn to do it, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it in the first few tries, or even the first few dozen tries. (After all, how long did it take to learn to learn to ride a bike?)

If you find you can take the dildo into the back of your mouth without gagging but you can’t get it to go past that point, it helps to get the dildo (or, when you’re doing it, the penis) thoroughly wet before deep-throating it. Something that’s dry isn’t lubricated enough to slide easily down the throat; using plenty of wetness really helps.

Is this a skill that’s absolutely necessary to have in order to give oral sex? No, it’s not; I’ve personally found that receiving oral sex is a great deal of fun with or without deep-throating. It’s a fun technique to add to your repertoire, but it’s not an absolute necessity to be skilled at sucking cock.

Well, the Thanksgiving holiday is over, and now that I’m well and truly stuffed with turkey and back from visiting friends and family, it’s time for another update!

As a kid, I was fascinated with remote control–cars, boats, you name it. So it’s probably no surprise that toy I’ve always been quite fond of is the remote controlled vibrator. There are several varieties of these around, from multifunction wireless remote controlled vibrator to simple and cheap basic vibrators to remote controlled vibrating panties, and if you’re an electronics hobbyist with a little bit of skill around a soldering iron you can even make your own. These toys let you have your own radio-controlled girlfriend!

There are a lot of obvious ways to use a remote-controlled sex toy for some discreet public sexy fun. You can take your partner to dinner while she’s wearing one, for instance, and from time to time reach into your pocket and press the button (I’ve found this is especially effective when she’s distracted by something else, like talking to a server). You can go out to the mall and periodically give her a little buzz when she’s least expecting it. It’s great fun at the movies, and can make an otherwise dull company party a lot more interesting.

I recently talked to a woman who’d come up with a less obvious use for remote controlled vibrators, though, and that was for making oral sex a bit spicier.

Like a great number of women, she said that she really, really enjoys giving oral sex, but the disadvantage of giving oral sex is there’s less feedback stimulation for the person giving it. You can always 69, of course, but some people find that to be distracting. The person who’s giving it can masturbate at the same time, but that’s not quite the same thing.

So what she does is she wears a remote-controlled vibrator and gives the remote to her partner while she’s giving him head. Tat way, as he gets more excited, he can ramp up the vibration, and give her stimulation as well. It’s a wonderful way to make the experience more mutual for the giver and the receiver, and offer satisfaction to the receiver as well.

Sometimes, we tend to fall into a trap where we start thinking of sex as something that’s directed toward a goal–and often, that goal is orgasm. The orgasm can become the purpose of sex, the way we know we’ve “succeeded,” to the point where we lose sight of the fact that the principle business of sex is to have fun.

So occasionally, I like to spend some time exploring sex without orgasm. This is fun for a number of reasons: it can build excitement, it can create sexual tension, it can be a way to become re-acquainted with our bodies, and it can be a way to focus on a partner.

One way to get acquainted with the idea of orgasm denial is to choose an arbitrary length of time, say three days, during which you will voluntarily choose not to do anything that will bring you to climax, while still making a point to dedicate part of the day to exploring sexy time with your partner. This can be anything from foreplay to erotic massage to actual sex, but without concentrating on the “goal” of orgasm, and instead focusing on the activity for its own sake.

If you really want to work yourself up and build some erotic tension, you can make a point not only to spend some time once (or twice!) a day with your lover, but also choose a number of times each day to explore your own body and build yourself up to the edge of orgasm without quite getting yourself there.

A routine of exploring yourself sexually without getting yourself off, plus spending time being physically intimate with your lover, over a course of several days will soon have you in a state where you feel aroused and sexy all the time. If you like sex in the evenings, you can tease yourself in the morning before you get out of bed, plus again in the afternoon when you’re done with the day’s work, and spend some time with your lover in the evening; if you’re more the morning sex type, try sex in the morning, followed by teasing yourself a few time later on in the day. Invite your lover to watch, or even to help you!

When the time is up and the day has come when you’re ready for orgasm, it can be nice to make an occasion out of it. Spend some time with your lover, lightly teasing and touching, flirting with your partner throughout the day. Have a nice dinner together, if that’s your thing. Get things going with an extended makeout session, followed by a lot of foreplay before you finally let yourself go. The results can be quite explosive!

Here’s a very simple game that can encourage you and your partner to re-discover foreplay and reaquaint yourselves with one another’s bodies without rushing right into sex.

The game starts with each of you still dressed and facing one another. You and your partner take turns, with one of you thinking of a place on your body you would love to feel your lover’s hands. The other person places his or her hands on your shoulders and begins lightly stroking and caressing you, running hands over your body slowly, trying to find the secret place you’ve thought of already.

As your lover’s hands travel over your body, you can say “warmer” or “cooler” to direct your partner to the place where you most want to feel their touch. Or, if you prefer, you can just let your reactions speak for themselves. You might also lean forward and steal a kiss from time to time, while you enjoy the feel of the hands on your body.

Any clothing that gets in the way can be peeled back, bit by bit. Don’t rush! Take your time; you and your partner should be able to savor every caress. While your partner explores you, concentrate on your own pleasure.

Finally, when your lover discovers the place where you most wanted to feel their hands, you can reward them with a long, slow, deep kiss. Then it’s your partner’s turn! Place your hands on your lover’s shoulders, and begin your own journey of exploration.

Want a quick way to jolt yourself out of a rut and spice up your sex? If you’ve never experimented with being blindfolded during sex, then there’s little that can get things jump-started faster!

Blindfolds are cheap, simple, and easy to use. If you like, you can even use something you already have lying around the house, like a scarf or even a piece of clothing, if you’re in a mood to improvise or if using an “official” blindfold seems too intimidating.

The nice thing about being blindfolded during sex is the way it makes you focus on your body; your other senses become heightened, so everything feels more intense. This makes blindfolds a great way to take what might otherwise be something humdrum and make it mind-blowing!

Start by slipping the blindfold over your partner’s eyes. Then, run your hands all over your partner’s body, caressing and teasing. Don’t rush!

Brush your fingertips, lips, and tongue all over your partner in unexpected ways. Mix it up! You can run your fingers over your partners side, then kiss your partner’s chin, then tweak a nipple, then caress your partner’s foot…one of the neat things about being blindfolded is the way the blindfold makes it impossible to tell what will happen next, so furthering the sense of anticipation.

Try an erotic massage when your partner is blindfolded. A blindfold makes the feeling even more sensual.

All the things you normally do during sex are magnified when you use blindfolds. Oral sex, intercourse, manual sex, you name it, all get that little bit of an extra edge.

It’s not just the person receiving the attention who can benefit from being blindfolded! You can wear the blindfold yourself when you run your hands and fingers and tongue all over your partner’s body.

An even more fun thing to do is to have both people be blindfolded. A game I like to play is to blindfold myself and my partner, and then spend some time just making out, caressing, kissing, touching, fondling, and undressing, without either of us saying a word. Without sight or speech, we can learn each other’s bodies just by touch alone. This is a wonderfully intimate, sensual way to get re-connected with your lover and focus on your lover’s responses.