So you want to try new things in bed, but you’re worried it’ll be awkward.

There’s a simple way to deal with that, and it all comes down to one thing: Understand that it’s OK to feel awkward.

I am a veteran, seasoned pervert, and so are most of my friends and partners. I have explored all kinds of kinky, wild sex that a lot of folks only read about in magazines. You want to know a secret?

Everybody feels awkward the first time they try new things. Nobody is born already knowing how to be wild and kinky in bed. The difference between a veteran, seasoned pervert with a wild and kinky sex life and folks without kinky sex lives is just this: Veteran, seasoned perverts know that there will be times when they feel awkward, and it’s all perfectly OK.

The things that probably run through your head when you think about being dominant and wild are probably, if you’re like everyone else:

- What if I do something wrong?

- What if my partner doesn’t like what I’m doing?

- What if I run out of ideas?

- What if I get to a point where it isn’t working for me and the things I’m doing don’t turn me on?

- What if my partner rejects me?

These are all the things that everyone feels when they first start getting down with the kink. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal.

What if you do something wrong? Hey, it’s not the end of the world. Laugh it off and keep going. It won’t kill you, I promise. You’ll probably make mistakes; I do, everyone does. So what?

What if your partner doesn’t like what you’re doing? Then he just says so, that’s all. It doesn’t need to be a big deal. It doesn’t need to be The End Of The World. A little tiny bit of simple communication fixes that right up. Say you go to blindfold him, and he says “I don’t like blindfolds.” Well, then, take the blindfold off and keep on going. No sweat, no fuss, no problem. When you explore new things, you will encounter stuff that your partner doesn’t like. As long as he says so, hey, it’s no big deal.

What if you run out of ideas? Sex is always fun even when you’re doing stuff you already know. If you run out of ideas, then do something you already know how to do. (Oral sex and intercourse are always fun no matter what else is going on!) Or, ask your partner. In truth, though, once you start getting in the groove, you will probably find that ideas start flowing easily…it’s just a question of getting past that first “ZOMG what if I get stuck?” fear.

What if you get to a point where it isn’t working for you and the things you’re doing don’t turn you on? No biggie; do something else! No fuss, no catastrophe, just do something else.

What if your partner rejects you? I’d say about 99% of people’s sexual fears are all wrapped up in that right there. People are often scared to talk about the things they like in sex because “what if my partner thinks I’m a freak?” People are often scared to try new things because “What if it’s too weird?” Those are all fear of rejection. But you love your partner, right? Your partner loves you, right? Your relationship is not just based on sex, right?

So why worry that if you do not meet 100% of your partner’s sexual expectations 100% of the time, then it will be the end of the world? Your partner wouldn’t reject you if you cooked dinner and burned the lasagna, right? Your partner wouldn’t reject you if you went to pick him up from the airport and you were 10 minutes late, right? So why worry that your partner will reject you if your sexual life isn’t perfectly the way he wants it to be? After all, you’re involved, too, and you have a right to explore the things you want to explore just like he does!