Trying Something New by Abandoning What You Know

This week’s sex tip is a bit counter-intuitive, because I’m going to suggest trying something that’s a little unorthodox…namely, not doing what you’re best at or what you most enjoy.

One thing that can sometimes happen in a long-term relationship is that things in the bedroom can get stuck in a rut. Occasionally, it’s nice to shake things out of that rut, to keep the sex fun and fresh and interesting.

It’s easy to say “Well, you keep things fun by trying new stuff,” but making a list of new stuff to try can sometimes be challenging. Sometimes, the best solution is just to step away from the rut without any clear idea of where you might be going, just to see what happens.

Most of us have things we really like doing in bed–one or two standbys that we find ourselves doing all the time, or perhaps things that we know we’re really good at. And so it’s tempting to go with what we know works and what we feel comfortable doing.

So try this. For some period of time–perhaps the next time you have sex, perhaps a few days, whatever–don’t do the things that you find easiest to do. Talk to your partner: “You know that thing I do that you really like, that we do all the time? Let’s try NOT to do that. And that thing you do that you know really works for me, let’s not do that either. Instead, let’s experiment, as though we were just having sex for the first time and didn’t know what worked for us, and see what we find!”

It might seem a little weird to tell someone NOT to do whatever it is that they’re best at doing, but every now and then it’s a good way to mix up the routine and explore new territory. In fact, who knows? You might find some new thing that works even better for you!